Friday, August 5, 2011

Ridge Racer 3D, one bad ass fucking video game !

Something happy to write about for once! Well, even the most hard core hate filled thought criminal enjoys things, like, well… like taking a big shit in the morning or going up to the country side with your sketch book, a shiny new Ibanez, spending the day looking for sea glass at the beach, or the best for last, an awesome videogame.

RR 3D Trailer, Welcome back Riko !

I picked up Ridge Race 3D, For the Nintendo 3DS the other day and I was totally stoked about scoring this game for only 20 bux! The Ridge Racer series is a classic, arcade style racer that is mostly about screeching around corners in a drift as fast as you fucking possibly can, it’s easy to get into and that’s one reason I love this series of videogames so much.

The first time I ever played Ridge Racer was when a video game called R4 : Ridge Racer type 4, came out on the old original PlayStation, this one was so fucking cool to me because if you pre-ordered it at your local game store, it came in this bad ass box with a controller called the JogCon, it was a PlayStation controller with a giant steering wheel/dial on the front, however, what made it even cooler is that the wheel itself had force feedback, so when you were going faster it was harder to turn the wheel, or if you hit a wall the wheel would wiggle back and forth, it was pretty fucking real for its time and made my spring/summer one of the best I can remember as a younger dude.

Above is R4 and the JogCon controller

What stemmed from R4 still carries on to the later versions of this series and is why I love RR (Ridge Racer) so much!

The PSP version of RR is still my favorite because it meshed R4 and the other RR’s together and had a fucking never ending amount of unlockables and cool shit from previous RR games and unfortunately, until now, no Nintendo system has ever got a proper ridge racer, the ones Namco slapped out on the N64 and DS were fucking awful, some shit you might expect from EA.

The Nintendo 3DS version of Ridge Racer is fucking awesome! everything I could have hoped they could have stuck on an SD card is there, I have a few complaints, but not fucking many, so I’m just going to give you a quick review about why you should actually go spend your worthless promissory notes for gold issued by The Federal Reserve Bank (money) on this game.

· Graphics – Fucking awesome, the 3D effect for this game is flawless, a really cool sense of depth without being a gimmick, for being  one of the first games on the 3DS, I have no complaints, although I do not like to compare graphics between systems on which one is better because one system always does one thing better than the other, so with that being said, I think these are some of the best graphics on a handheld I’ve seen yet. Even a little bit of specular lighting type effects on the road, lots of things going on in the back ground and foreground, cool lighting effects, water effects, the awesome little boost that comes out of your tailpipe when you hit your nitrous ! The blur effect on the tail lights, it’s all really good, and attention to detail is ever present! I’m totally impressed with what Namco did with this title; you will be too, unless you’re a whiny old Hebrew lawyer or an ADL member. My only bitch is that the reflections in the car windows look all pixelated, that’s pretty much it.

· Courses – To me, if a racing game has boring ass courses like Gran Tourismo it gets a big fat shit thumbs down, I like GT and all, but god damn, I could run around my back yard in circles and see exactly the same thing as ALL of their fucking courses have to offer, YAWN! RR is fucking bad ass because the courses are so god damn cool that even if somehow your brain has been so messed up by vaccines that you don’t like this game, the courses alone are enough reason to turn your mushy slop in your skull around to see reason, Everything from the most dream like city scape at night to amazingly cool farm land to awesome lighted tunnels that twist and turn, underwater parts , majestic mountains with giant waterfalls and driving through the puddles makes water drops splash on your screen in 3D, some of the tracks are totally new and some are ones that us RR fans have grown up with, in short, the courses in this game only exist in the land of Ridge Racer and in your dreams.

· Gameplay- Of course this is the main bit, well, in game reviews I always found this to be the most boring part so ill spare you, this is how it works, you go as fucking fast as you can, around corners you slide as fast as you can and you win. The coolest part is when you drift around corners the camera shifts sideways and gives a really sweet angle that kind of takes your breath away for a second, it’s easy to figure out how to get really cool drifts with minimal work, there are different car types that drift in different ways, one is merely just turning letting off the gas button and then you automatically slide around the corner and you hit the gas as your coming out of the turn and you’re on your way, the different car choices are used with different drifting techniques that you must master if you want to unlock everything, the dynamic types take a lot of practice but are cool once you get the hang of it, easy and fun. The difficulty gradually increases with the more Grand Prix races you unlock and advance, great learning curve and not really hard until you get to the last series of races, then you want to fucking murder someone because you have to nail the track perfect to win, but it’s still fun. There are different types of races a Grand Prix where you race for points to unlock new cars, nitrous kits and other goodies, an arcade race where you just do one track and that’s it, a time attack and local wireless match, again my only bitch in this section is NO FUCKING ONLINE MULTIPLAYER, THAT IS FUCKING BULLSHIT ! All the other parts of this section I love, great control, easy to play but still hard at the same time.

Music and Sound – Ridge Racer has always been known for its kick ass soundtrack and this one does not let me down, while it doesn’t have as many songs as I would have liked to see, the ones they do have are fucking cool, trance and techno and some fucking most excellent butt rock guitar ! The music tracks are awesome racing game music and fit most triumphantly with the fast ass pace of the game, they are not repetitive or boring but live and upbeat and really add to the effect that makes you curl your toes as your flying at 190 mph around a hairpin turn. The voice acting and comments in RR have ALWAYS been fucking cheesy, and the same is true for the 3DS version, but I like it a lot, it does get repetitive, them saying it over and over but you can always turn it off, however I love to hear those arcade style voices and the cheesy shit they say, don’t bother me one damn bit. The sound effects are cool, the cars do sound like a powered up Hoover but it’s not insanely noticeable, all the other sound effects fit in well, the crashes and screeches and such, no complaints on that front at all.

Basically this game is everything you could ever ask for in a cool ass arcade style racer, sometimes I just get on time attack and drive like a grandma with a 10 year old tampon stuck up her cunt, and just admire the awesome backgrounds, I’m sure other reviewers will pick it apart and whine and cry about stupid little fucking details that don’t even matter, but I give this game the Silent Majority FUCK YEA! It’s cheap, it’s amazing, easy to get into, has lots of content, kick ass music and streetpass function, Its more or less like closing your eyes and thinking of the coolest places you could race a car in and then putting in your copy for RR 3D and seeing them onscreen in 3D. Buy this game, it fucking kicks ass and takes you to a place that should exist in the real world.

Amen- Count Scrappula

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